2019- was a year when I was hurting but never told anyone or at least nobody noticed, I was depressed,angry and doubting, I was going through life but I didn’t like myself as much, I was people pleasing to keep the peace, I was overworking myself to help others but I wasn’t helping myself at all, I was burnt out and tired, that was the year everything changed, my life got flipped upside down.
But it was also the year God gave me a gift.
At first I thought I was crazy.
But then I asked the person who I trusted and who I knew would understand, my grandma and she said I wasn’t crazy but God was showing me he’s there and that he saw me.
They kept showing up and I knew there was something deeper to them, but I just didn’t know what.
They say God will keep showing you until you understand what he’s trying to say, but I believe once he gives you something he more so trust you with it and he keeps showing you no matter what.
Eventually winter comes around and there season was done.
I thought it was the end.
2020- May comes around and God was still working, yes was it a heck of a year, oh yeah, but God came through with Godly friends, I even met this group Encouraging Women and it’s been amazing, finally being myself, that year I finally realized that I can’t be doing too much because I need to fill my cup before everyone else takes it and becomes empty and draining, so I said ‘no’ to a lot of things, and did stuff that made me happy, like writing again, I slowed down and discovered myself, I let go of people I had to let go of and received people who are more positive, in May I was on a walk and saw them again, the butterfly and I told my best friend, this time it was yellow. I never have seen this before, the different colors until this time, only monarch every once in a while, that year was tough on everyone, but God still showed up.
2021- here we are three years later and still seeing them to this day. A lot has changed, I finally realized what they mean: rebirth,new Beginning, transformation.
In these three years that is what has been happening in me.
And still is. Yes different colors means different things, but all together is means rebirthing, I posted this quote and it says “just when the Caterpillar thought her life was over, she began to fly”
That’s when I saw the wings mural and that’s when I knew, I can spread them and fly now.
I thought three years ago, my life wouldn’t change, I thought it was over but God showed me it’s not over yet, I’m just starting.
So I say if you have these signs don’t waste them, and if not then take mine and run with it and know God works with different people in different ways. He’s got you, in whatever season your in, he sees you, and is there, it’s not easy, but it’s worth it, all it takes is a step of faith and I admit I had to just take the biggest leap I’ve ever taken, it was scary, I had to let go of a lot people, things, and there’s times I wondered if I made the right decision because it’s not how I expected it to turn out, I thought it would’ve been easy haha nope, but I get that reassurance and I know yes it was the right decision and I’m going the right direction, it’s never easy but they say even the right decision you can be sad at times but it will help you grow and fly to where you need to go, and that’s where I am at.
So here’s to a season of flying, new Beginnings and rebirthing.
“For nothing will be impossible with God.””
Luke 1:37 ESV