Bleeding on the Inside

Hey it's me again Courtney. so I was reading a story in the book of Mathew recently and this story reminded me of when one of my friends sent me and another friend a sermon by Steven Furtick of  ‘Bleeding On The Inside’. This story is based in Matthew 9:18-26, if you want you can read it on your own now. 

This story this women is bleeding, but when I was little we all picture this dramatic (especially the boys) scene where this women is bleeding everywhere on the outside and then she touches Jesus and it stops. 

But in reality Steven Furtick said no she was bleeding on the inside. 

I've bled on the inside. If you've been on my Instagram or my blog page, you know my dad has emotionally and mentally abused me, you know he also went to prison my freshman year and when I told my closest friends, they left me and after it hurt, I was filled with hurt, pain, I felt weak and angry, I was filled with a lot of deep emotion, I was not filled with Jesus, I never knew God was my father, I just knew the abusive dad who never said sorry to me what he did or never really made effort. That's a bit of my bleeding on the inside. Yes there's more, I'm going through a storm right now which no if you know me I don't say what I'm going through until I already went through it. 

Bleeding on the inside people outside in the world, they don't know were bleeding. Someone ask "hey, how are you?" and you say "alright" they say "Just alright?" "yes". But they never go any deeper and say "no there's something going on, you can talk to me but if your not comfortable just know I'm praying for you". But we don't do that, why? I wish I knew. I was always the person who said "alright", I was the person who said "yes just alright". I was bleeding on the Inside and nobody see's our bleeding on the inside. 

I don't know about you but I was depressed, I was hurting, I was angry, I was suffering, I needed a savior, I needed a daddy who loves me, who knows me, who is always there for me, who is comforting there daughter. 

That's what this women needed was a Savior but she never knew if touching Jesus cloak would fully heal her but she still did it anyways because she knew she had to try. 

she herd about him and she went out to seek him. 

"Just then a women who had subject to bleeding for Twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. She said to herself "if I only touch his cloak, i will be healed" Matthew9:20-21

She literally spoke over herself that if i touched him i will be healed. She had faith in just the touch of  Jesus cloak, she tried everything doctors and doctors, probably every home remedies you can think of, she could've given up, that's probably what everyone told her to do was give up. But no she tried one more time but this time a Savior. 

"Jesus turned and saw her, "Take heart, daughter" he said, "Your faith has healed you" And the  women was healed from that moment" Matthew 9:22

Now we call this women the women bleeding, but I never knew this until Steven Furtick said it. This women is not the bleeding women, she is the only women Jesus called Daughter. He knew she needed healing and she needed a dad. That was me I needed a Dad and I never realized that I have had a dad until my papa died because my papa was my dad at the time but after he died I read the book 'The Shack'  and after i read that i realized God is my father. 

At that moment I was beginning my healing from the abuse, the hurt, the pains from my dad that I got to know my father in heaven and know he ain't leaving me, he ain't going to hurt me, but instead he loves me, he will heal my brokeness, he will sit with me when I'm down and i have someone to cry with. 

So you are not going to be bleeding forever, i have for umpteen years until I went to my Savior and got healing. 

You are a daughter of the king, if your like me who's dad either left, divorced and just never cared, abused you, hurt you, i know because i was there as well. But girl let me tell you, you have a daddy in heaven who loves you, who knows you and who has your name in the palm of his hand. Go to him. 

“See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands. Always in my mind is a picture of Jerusalem’s walls in ruins.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭49:16‬ ‭NLT‬‬

If your bleeding, i know because i was there as well. Hurting, angry, full of shame, not feeling enough, you've tried everything to numb it, get rid of it but nothing works. But you know who does? 

Jesus healed the women but the women had to have faith to touch him. You need to have Faith in him to heal your broken, to heal your shame, to heal you. All you have to do is meet him where your at. 

Your not the bleeding women, you are a daughter. 

So with this story instead of calling her the bleeding women, lets call her the only women Jesus called Daughter and he calls you daughter as well. 

So go to the savior, he's waiting to heal you today. No matter what you need he is there and he will heal you. You are a daughter of the King, no matter what people have called you it's not real, it's false because if Jesus calls the bleeding women a daughter instead of the bleeding women then Jesus calls you a daughter as well instead of messed up, a sinful women, a broken women, a useless women, whatever else you are not, you are a daughter of the King, Jesus heals you, you are meant for more than those words, you are meant for a story, a purpose. So girl get up know your worth, know who you are in Christ, get up and start living like a daughter of the King, get up, get up and rise up, rise because Jesus has risen, you rise with him, get up, wash your face and stand tall knowing your healing in Jesus. The women probably Got up and smiled all the way back and standing up, walking tall with her head held high knowing she is the Daughter of the most high and that is what I pray you will be walking like. 

So Girl you are a daughter not the bleeding women. That story has a new name its called ' The women Jesus called Daughter' and that's your story as well, but all you have to do is go to him and recieve his healing.

You are a daughter. You are known, loved, healed by his stripes, you are far more worth dimonds and rubies, you are who you are in Christ Jesus. 

Get with your savior, he's waiting for you.  Get up with your crown on, head held high and walk with confidence in your father God.