My parents are opening a store next weekend, and I could not be more excited for them. I have watched this dream turn from a small piece of land and a vision into the reality of a garden center and retail store. They have listened to God and have been obedient to what He has called them to do. And I have watched the blessings slowly but surely unfold before my very eyes. They handed the reigns over to God, and in return, they watched Him surprise them in ways they had never imagined or planned.
Watching them has made me realize that I want to have that same experience. I want God to surprise me.
As I write this, I am sitting on the back patio of my childhood home—somewhere I never thought I would be at this moment in my life. And I am in awe of the peacefulness of nature in the midst of the chaos that has rooted itself inside my own little world.
A cow lays alone in the field in front of me. Her head is up, surveying the land around her. It's almost as if she is reflecting, as I am now, on the peacefulness of this vast landscape.
She reminds me that creatures who are untouched by the world are not in a hurry.
We are.
A timeline of how life is supposed to go is a dangerous, man-made trap. I think I sometimes get so sucked up in this timeline that I often find myself willing to sacrifice pieces of myself in order to fit within its constraints.
What I've learned about my own timeline lately is that it isn't always aligned with God's timeline for me.
When things don't go as planned, I am always the one to immediately come up with an alternative plan. I used to go to God with my plans and say, "can you do this for me?" It's been a humbling experience to instead turn to God, with no plan, and ask, "what do you have planned for me, right here and right now?"
Every time I have planned and imagined what my life would look like, I have put God in a box. How can I expect Him to move in my life when I haven't given Him space to breathe life into it? How can I expect Him to move when I haven't given Him control?
If some things in my life had gone the way I had planned, I wouldn't be home right now. I wouldn't have made so many memories with my parents in such a short amount of time. I wouldn't have sat with them in the living room for hours talking about God and life. I wouldn't have gone thrift shopping with them as they prepare for their store. I wouldn't have spent so many hours out in the greenhouse planting flowers. I wouldn't have laughed with them nearly as much as I have.
If some things in my life had gone the way I had planned, I wouldn't have spent so much time with my younger brothers. I wouldn't have gone to their house every Saturday to watch WandaVision. I wouldn't have spent hours going to stores and getting coffee with them. I wouldn't have taken a trip to Branson with them and their friends. I wouldn't have had so many heartfelt and important conversations with them.
If things had gone the way I had planned, I wouldn't be searching for an apartment with my best friend right now. I wouldn't have spent so many days and nights talking to her about the things God is doing in our lives. I wouldn't have attended that Christian conference with her.
My point is, these are all good things. Blessings, actually. But they all took me by surprise. None of them would have happened if God hadn't wrecked some of my plans. Because those plans failed, I am exactly where I'm supposed to be.
Trials and plans changing can turn into blessings if we shift the way we define our blessings.
If I defined my blessings by the plans that didn't unfold for me, I wouldn't feel blessed right now. I would feel hopeless and forsaken. But if I instead shift my perspective and say, "no, that plan didn't work out for me. But look at the abundance of other things that did work out for me. Things I never even expected or knew I needed in my life right now," then I realize that God is blessing me even in the midst of some of the most heart-wrenching change of plans.
So yes, I am sitting on the patio of my childhood home. Yes, I am bummed that some things didn't work out the way I wanted them to. But I know I have not been forgotten. I know I am seen and known and loved. I know I am blessed. I know I am right where God wants me to be right now.
God has been teaching me so much lately, but I think the most important thing He's taught me is how to give Him control. How to surrender my plans to Him. I think He's been asking me to stop tossing and turning each night while trying to sort through everything and figure out where I'm going next. He's been asking me to let Him surprise me.
The way God writes the story is the only story worth reading. He does answer your prayers, but honestly, it's never in the way you would expect. And I am so grateful for that, because what He has for me is so much better than everything I once had planned for me.
Let God surprise you. Listen to His voice and follow His lead. After all, He's the one who knows you best. And I have a feeling He's about to blow you away.
Verses:
"And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you." - Psalm 9:10, ESV
"All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies." - Psalm 25:10
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" - Jeremiah 29:11, NIV
